Look, try as one might, there was no way of topping the AP’s opening paragraph.
PITTSBURGH (AP) — Federal prosecutors and the FBI say they’ve charged 44 people in a suburban Pittsburgh heroin ring that brazenly sold drugs while wearing T-shirts with the slogan, “Bricks R Us.”
As if that wasn’t bad or clear enough, members were also said to have worn shirts that read “a hundred bricks at a time.”
As the always-hilarious Desus trademarked, “gotta hear both sides.” But until then, here’s what we do know. On one hand, that’s some Grade A self-promotion. On the other, that’s some Grade A nincompoop chicanery, too. Also, 12 of the suspects remain on the run.
Allegedly, the “Bricks” crew had rings in various Pittsburgh communities. Where the heroin was circulating is most intriguing, however. While some of the deals were found in “crime-ridden” areas (aka “the hood”), many of the transactions occurred in the nice, quaint middle-class town of Monroeville, roughly 15 miles outside of Wiz Khalifa’s hometown.
Consider this proof you never know what you’re next door neighbor is doing behind closed doors.