This was just a normal celebrity weekend in Miami. Friday night, Serena Williams and Caroline Wozniacki watched the Miami Heat clinch their fourth consecutive Eastern Conference title (and then took celebratory photos with Greg Oden).
Saturday, the legendary tennis megastar was minding her own business on the beach, snapping selfies because what else is there to do on South Beach. You have to stunt, right? Off in the distance a wedding was taking place. In the spirit of the moment, Serena allowed the spirits of Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughan to guide her. The next thing anyone knew, Williams was crashing the wedding in a leopard swimsuit. Judging from the pictures a memory for life was created, so all’s well that ends well in this regard.
Let’s run through three quick thoughts while we’re still here:
1. Wedding crashing is risky business, especially when taking into consideration you don’t know how the bride is going to react. She’s been awaiting this day her entire life, and then some scantly clad woman comes sashaying down the aisle attempting to one up her? Nah. Then again, it is Serena Williams. Fighting her, in a wedding dress at that, probably wouldn’t end too well. She is still from Compton, too, don’t forget.
2. All praise to the groom. Keeping his eyes focused on his queen while Serena’s frame filled out that swimsuit was a test to his marriage he probably wasn’t expecting so soon. The last thing any man wants to deal with is his lady cussing him out, let alone his wedding night.
3. I say this with all the respect in the world. Serena is thicker than Mississippi molasses on a southern grandma’s French toast on Easter Sunday. Or in the words of a Crew member who shall remain nameless, “Serena has the ass of a school cafeteria worker.”