Re-Take: 25 Celebs Playboy Should Have Spent A Million Bucks On

12.12.11 5 years ago 50 Comments

By now, everyone’s seen LiLo’s powdered milk tits in Playboy and very much agreed that Hef wasted a million dollars chasing a unicorn. As fans of women and skin flicks, we wanted to help out Playboy (we know you’re reading…or at least your legal team is) as they go around eyeballing other potential female starlets, singers and celebs to pay enormous amounts of cash in exchange for a little public display of T&A. With that in mind, we gathered 25 suggestions.

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1. Mya — Who cares if her rumored rep around rap circles is totally tarnished. We’d still pay at least $900K to see a full spread of her spread eagle.

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2. Paula Patton — Robin Thicke, eff you. It’s just no fair that he’s the only one that gets to see her ample goodness on a daily basis. Share the wealth!

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3. Jennifer Lopez — We’ll take high quality, tasteful photoshoot nudes…until Marc Anthony leaks the sextapes.

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4. Sofia Vergara — Hubba Hubba. Those buoyant boobs? Yeah, we wanna see them unleashed.

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5. Nicole Scherzinger — She’s a Pussycat Doll. So, being naked is just part of the job description, right?

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6. Alicia Keys — Imagine the artistic possibilities. Alicia naked on a piano. Naked in an opera house. Naked in a pool of fudge and sex toys. See? Artsy.

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7. Cheryl Burke — Sure, she’s not on the big screen but Cheryl’s on TV several night’s per week. And when her run with DWTS ends, we have another job ready and waiting for her.

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8. Reischea Canidate — You saw that fatty every morning during 1st and 10. She’s a college athlete so you know it’s all right and tight in there.

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9. Scarlett Johansson — She already has nudes available but…we’ll take more.

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10. Rachel McAdams — You know a few pages of the Notebook would be stuck together if there were some nudes in there.

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11. Sanaa Lathan — We nearly willed a fully exposed sex scene to happen in Love & Basketball. Sanaa’s so hot, she could take up two slots on this list if we wanted to be really real.

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12. Mila Kunis — Honestly, Mila’s most alluring feature would be her eyes and she suffers from a serious case of noassatall…but that doesn’t change the fact we’d love to see her in the buff.

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