By now, everyone’s seen LiLo’s powdered milk tits in Playboy and very much agreed that Hef wasted a million dollars chasing a unicorn. As fans of women and skin flicks, we wanted to help out Playboy (we know you’re reading…or at least your legal team is) as they go around eyeballing other potential female starlets, singers and celebs to pay enormous amounts of cash in exchange for a little public display of T&A. With that in mind, we gathered 25 suggestions.
1. Mya — Who cares if her rumored rep around rap circles is totally tarnished. We’d still pay at least $900K to see a full spread of her spread eagle.
2. Paula Patton — Robin Thicke, eff you. It’s just no fair that he’s the only one that gets to see her ample goodness on a daily basis. Share the wealth!
3. Jennifer Lopez — We’ll take high quality, tasteful photoshoot nudes…until Marc Anthony leaks the sextapes.
4. Sofia Vergara — Hubba Hubba. Those buoyant boobs? Yeah, we wanna see them unleashed.
5. Nicole Scherzinger — She’s a Pussycat Doll. So, being naked is just part of the job description, right?
6. Alicia Keys — Imagine the artistic possibilities. Alicia naked on a piano. Naked in an opera house. Naked in a pool of fudge and sex toys. See? Artsy.
7. Cheryl Burke — Sure, she’s not on the big screen but Cheryl’s on TV several night’s per week. And when her run with DWTS ends, we have another job ready and waiting for her.
8. Reischea Canidate — You saw that fatty every morning during 1st and 10. She’s a college athlete so you know it’s all right and tight in there.