Attention White People…

05.11.08 10 years ago 64 Comments

Another installment from Phonte’s MySpace blog.

My baseball cap is a statement of fashion, not affiliation

I swear, yo….

If I have to tell ONE mo’ old white nigga that I’m not a Yankees fan, I’mma lose it.

This was inspired by my encounter at the airport in Cleveland the other day when, after peeping my Yanks fitted, the gate attendant felt the need to joke: “Hey, man…only Cleveland Indian hats are allowed on this plane!” I played it off and gave him that good water cooler Office chuckle that you give white folks when they be corny as hell, but you just wanna keep the peace and get on with your day. No harm no foul.

Fast forward two days later and me and the boys are stuck at the airport in PORTLAND, MAINE fam……and the kid was NOT in the mood for jokes. The broad workin the security gate was lookin at me and Flash up and down in that ‘silently judging you’ sort of way. She asked if we were from New York cause we were wearing Yankees caps, and I just couldn’t take it no mo. Something in me just snapped. I had no choice but to hit that ho with the GillieFace.

I’m addressing this blog specifically to white people cause I ain’t never had no Black person run up on me all geeked and shit like, “Yoooo son…you think *insert whatever team hat I’m wearing* gonna go all the way this year??!??!”

White folks, please understand that Black people don’t rock team paraphenalia because of the teams. We rock it because of the colors….colors……colors, colors

I often sport the Yankees fitted in my photos and such because I like clean and simple colors, and there is very little that doesn’t match up with a classic navy and white cap. Sometimes I’ll switch it up and rock the Detroit joint, or if I wanna add a little color I’ll thow on the Braves joint cause the contrast of that red brim be lookin provocative against the chocolate skin of a nigga like myself.

Don’t get me wrong. I got mad love for my man Derek Jeter cause him and his sister Charlee are BIG supporters of underground hip-hop. But in my 29 years, I’ve yet to watch a Yankees game, or any baseball game in full. I think my hatred of sports goes back to my childhood when my grandpops (God rest his soul), usta have our TV in the den on straight SMASH, yo. I’m taumbot, if it wasn’t Sanford and Son, “the game,” or Andy Griffith, you wasn’t gettin no play in his ride (c) Stacy from Menace. His methods of control were downright Debosian. So, to this very day, whenever I see any type of sports, I am reminded of all them fuckin episodes of Smurfs I missed cause my Grandaddy was housin the TV. Not a good memory at all…

So yeah…..white folks, my baseball cap is a fashion statement not a pledge of allegiance. Ain’t no Black people rockin a Colorado Rockies cap cause they a fan of the 2nd baseman; they just trynna match that shit up with they Dunks. Nothin more, nothin less.

If you identify as a white person, please print out this blog and pass it on to your fellow brethren. I’m tired of y’all axein me about this silly shit.


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