Dear Boston, Brian Scalabrine’s ‘Coming Home,’ Too

08.04.14 3 years ago 17 Comments


Brian Scalabrine is a Hall of Famer…in our hearts, minds and souls. The man affectionately known as “The White Mamba” hasn’t suited up since his final season in Chicago during the 2011-12 campaign, but he’s hasn’t been far from our thoughts and prayers.

Since retiring, Scal’s been an assistant coach in Golden State (where he was later demoted by Mark Jackson for reportedly arguing with another coach), hooped at San Quentin and taken the most hilarious media day photo in the history of media days.

So with a lot on his mind, TWM had a decision to make. What’s next for the 17,647th greatest player to ever play? Much like LeBron James, the answer was simple. Brian’s heading home. To Boston. To be an announcer.

And much like The King, the one-time champion figured it was best to announce his next career choice via written letter form. Grab the Kleenex. Because it gets good, really good.

Remember when I spurned the Celtics and signed with the Chicago Bulls in 2010? Actually I begged Ainge to keep me and he wished me the best of luck. I was thinking, “This is really tough.” I could feel it. I left something I had spent five years creating. I haven’t paid for a meal since 2008. What if all of this goes away? But if I had to do it all over again, I’d probably still have left. Chicago, for me, has always been like graduate school. I myself had always considered getting my MBA at Northwestern. These past four years helped bolster my resume to showcase the well-rounded individual I am. I’m a better player, a better coach, a better broadcaster, and a better Mamba. I’ve learned a great deal in my time spent with four franchises…actually five if you count my stint in Italy because of the lockout. What was the purpose of the lockout again? I will always think of Chicago as my third home and Oakland probably as my fourth home…but not like downtown Oakland, more like the suburbs. Without the experiences I’ve had in these places, I wouldn’t be able to do what I’m doing today.

I went to Chicago because of Tibs and D-Rose and the crazy energy of Joakim Noah, and it was my only job offer in the states. I loved becoming an everyday customer at Giordano’s Pizza, the free meals were back. I loved the fans and the creation of the White Mamba by Stacy King. Chicago was exactly what I needed and I believed we could do something magical if we came together. But we fell short. So I took my talents to Golden State searching for their championship and I really believed we could do something magical if we came together. But then I was sent down to the D-League where we flew to Hidalgo, TX on commercial flights with no first class sitting next to a 7’2” center named Ognjen Kuzmic. There was nothing magical happening down there, no matter how much we came together. And that’s when I knew it was time to come home.

I’m doing this essay because I want an opportunity to explain myself uninterrupted…and gather some great press based on another recent NBA signing…in almost the exact same way. I don’t want anyone thinking: He and Mark Jackson didn’t get along … The Bulls and Warriors couldn’t put the right team together … Does anyone really care what Brian Scalabrine is doing right now? None of these things were true. And for the record I never played for the Warriors, I was just a coach, didn’t people see me holding my clipboard. I don’t understand why people couldn’t put it together, I was holding a clipboard, I was a real coach.

Scal’s my favorite type of person. He doesn’t take himself too serious, which unfortunately, is the exact opposite how the Internet operates.

Don’t take yourself (or this letter) too serious, Internet. A good laugh never hurt anybody.

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