Dear ESPN, A Brian Scalabrine ’30 For 30′ Documentary Would Make For The Greatest Show In TV History

03.17.14 4 years ago 4 Comments

NBA: Denver Nuggets at Chicago Bulls

The man. The myth. The legend. The White Mamba. Brian Scalabrine.

Teams couldn’t stop him. Their only hope was to contain him. The only reason why Scal isn’t considered better than Michael Jordan’s is because he felt bad for Mike’s wardrobe. The only reason he never bothered scoring 82 in a game is because Kobe was in his Top 8 on his old MySpace page. The only reason he never averaged 51 per game for a season is because he already took down Wilt’s most gaudy number – 20,001. Crossword puzzles completed, that is.

Some kind soul, so moved by The Caucasian Mamba’s time in the Association, created this fake “30 For 30” trailer. The kick is, it turned out so flawless Bill Simmons and the folks at Bristol might want to look into funding the project. Even if it’s one of their “30 For 30 Shorts,” homage needs to be paid to one of the greatest hi-fivers this game has ever seen.

Oh, and don’t get it twisted. Scalabrine played in the league for 11 years. He’d still bust the average joe’s ass if it came right down to it.

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