The next time you’re trolling the high seas off the Horn of Africa and you hear Britney Spears blaring from somewhere, don’t fret. There’s a reason you can hear America’s favorite former trainwreck, and it’s because her music deters PIRATES (but not the Jack Sparrow-faux-Keith Richards variety).
Time’s Jessica Roy reports that ships off the east coast of Africa have recently begun to use Spears’ music–including the timeless tracks “Baby, One More Time” and “Toxic”–to deter Somali pirate crews from “approaching supertankers… and attempting to kidnap their crews.” The reason being: PIRATES f*cking hate American things.
“Her songs were chosen by the security team because they thought the pirates would hate them most,” [merchant navy officer Rachel] Owens said. “These guys can’t stand Western culture or music, making Britney’s hits perfect.”
Perfect, indeed*. For the life of us, we can’t understand who in the world doesn’t love overtly sexualized sugary pop ditties from a former Mickey Mouse Club heart-throb (swoon?). Then again, that’s probably the exact reason why people hate us.
* — Although, we have no hard numbers yet that show a correlation between the increased use of Oops!… I Did It Again and a decrease in pirate kidnappings. But just wait until they hear her rendition of “I Love Rock ‘N’ Roll”!