With cuffing season right around the corner, now’s the time to grab your prospective main squeeze and tell her what the deal is. And nothing says “get over here, chick” like these 11 authoritative tunes from Cash Money Records. And we’re talking the old CMR, before things got all mucked up with the revamped roster, skyrocketing success and tunes like “How To Love.” Take cues from when the core guys wore oversized white tees, bling and bandanas. Their ways and words may seem uncouth, but they made macho music that kept love simple.
Cash Money Millionaires – “Project Bitch”
Love gets no realer, no more explicit than the blunt chorus of this one. “Deshawn, Eshlawn, Lil Mama, an her friends” and all ladies with low life goals found solace in this one because the CMR guys kept things simple.
Juvenile – “Mama Got Ass (She Get It From Her Mama)”
An old adage preaches to know how a female will look like once she’s got some years under belt is to look at her mama. As one of rap’s original ode to MILFs, we guess Juvenile paid just enough attention in biology to pick up this entry-level analysis. He once again took a simple concept and stretched into a classic. Everyone loves a good pair o’ genes, word to Ms. Parker.
Lil Wayne – “Biznite”
Dedicate this to that special jump off in your life and use it as a blueprint of what to say if she ever jumps out of line. Like ask for a kiss or something. Ladies, this applies to you as well and the man (or men) in your life who catch feelings too damn fast.
BG Ft. Big Tymers – “Stay N Line Hoe”
Don’t let the song title fool you, this track ain’t about proper cafeteria etiquette. What we have is a here is a guide and cautionary tale for any chick aspiring to be down with BG. He’s a man of distinction and will no longer tolerate the obedience problems of yesterday’s bitches.
Lil Wayne – “Prostitute Flange”
Remember when Lil Wayne was spending a lot of time with Mary Jane after the levees broke in uptown New Orleans from a torrential downpour of purple rain? That was a fun era. Clearly under the influence of his chemical muses, Weezy put his “best rapper alive” hat down, and chose to sing the right words to the wrong woman for six straight minutes.
Juvenile Feat. Mannie Fresh – “I Got That Fire”
Imagine Oscar Mayer’s board meeting when this song finally landed on their desk. Now imagine their faces when they realize what “Oscar Mayer” was a metaphor for. Awesome.
Hot Boyz – “I Need Hot Girl”
Find a church-going, classy chick. Let Mannie’s early claps start hittin’ and shorty will start twerkin’ like the the Holy Ghost hit her in all the wrong ways.
Big Tymers – “Snake”
We’ve said and done a lot of shrewd things to get ass in our day. But none of that compares to the slick pimpin’ put down on “Anaconda,” where Mannie explains to a chick how sucking his joint will taste better than the next dudes.
Lil Wayne Feat. B.G. & Mannie Fresh – “Drop It Like It’s Hot”
“I don’t use rubbers, and I don’t plan no kids girl/I don’t want your number, I want your trouble, in ya skins girl…” Hallmark couldn’t pen a better card.
Big Tymers – “Broads”
“I wish I could give all these hoes a picture of my dick.” A pre-iPhone Mannie Fresh. Technology has made the 2012 creep lazy and unimaginative. Back in the good ol’ days, straight forward misogyny and bass-in-the-voice disrespect were the tools that the Big Tymers used to get the baddest chicks on their team. Shout out to a pre-pubescent wobbledy wobbledy Weezy Wee on the hook.
Juvenile – “Back That Azz Up”
C’mon, now. You honestly thought we were going to leave this off the list? It’s only one of the most popular Hip-Hop songs ever and one hell of a wedding reception request.