Five Things That Would Make Me Watch A Chris Brown Reality TV Show

Contributing Writer
06.28.14 4 Comments

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If you’re like me, you watch way too many bad reality TV shows every week. Like, way too many. You know what makes these shows even more watchable? Celebrities! Even if they’re fake celebrities like Taz’s Angels, or Draya, or Kim Kardashian.

So when TMZ reported that BET is all in on a Chris Brown reality show I was instantly intrigued. No, the show is not currently in production, but that’s not for BET’s lack of trying. In fact, word is BET has let word out to production companies that if they’re able to secure a deal with Brown they’ll air the show. BET’s so serious they’ve even went so far as to hold a focus group to gauge whether or not viewers would be interested. TMZ says the focus group was composed entirely of “African American females” and the results were mixed, and I can see why, but as for me, I’d set my DVR tonight if it was possible.

Fact of the matter is this is never ever going to happen. Breezy has a huge team that will make sure of it. Even if it does happen, I’m sure he would only sign off on this if he had tons of control over what got aired and how he was portrayed. Brown has an extremely frail public image, with tons of baggage and mistakes he’ll always have to live with, but that’s fine, nobody’s perfect. Thing is, he clearly has some issues, and cameras on him 24/7 will only magnify his flaws for a weekly audience.

That’s a shame though, because besides being an extremely useful tool for Brown to possibly give his image a little spit shine, this could’ve been some amazing TV.

Here are five things I would have tuned in for:

1. Karrueche
2. Rihanna
3. The possibility of Karrueche and Rihanna being in the same room/club at the same time.
4. The possibility of Chris Brown and Drake being in the same room/club at the same time.
5. A Chris Brown meltdown and/or explosion of anger.

That’s all fine and dandy for losers like me who are amused by this stuff, and if he really wanted to I guess these are situations Chris could make happen, for the sake of his show. But this is his real life, and Brown’s team will never allow because here are five things those cameras would probably catch, even if Chris stopped them from airing:

1. Chris violating his parole in some way.
2. Chris relapsing on one of his many rumored habits.
3. Chris not being perfect.
4. Chris being human.
5. A Chris Brown meltdown and/or explosion of anger.

Brown is troubled, and yes some of his wounds are self inflicted but they still exist nonetheless. Earlier this year he was diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder and bipolar disorder, two very real and crippling conditions. They don’t explain or excuse his actions from the past, but they do reveal just a smidgen of what makes him tick and that in and of itself is intriguing and makes for great TV, potentially.

Unfortunately, even if it could be entertaining television this is an awful idea that I don’t think will ever come to fruition, and rightfully so. There are plenty of other ways for Chris Brown to promote X, his forthcoming album that has a hit in Loyal, but still doesn’t have a release date.

So yes, I definitely would watch the Chris Brown reality show, but for his sake hopefully I’ll never get the chance.

Previously: The Chris Brown Conundrum: What’s Next For R&B’s Most Controversial Bad Boy?

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