Madonna is still on tour which means she’s still flashing her geriatric naughty bits, trying to prove to us just how sexy she is now that she’s 54 years old. But there are still more pretty hot cougars that outrank the crypt keeper. While we’re not coming anywhere close to her live shows, we wouldn’t mind catching these lovely glasses of fine wine in person.
Sade in the 80’s
1. Sade, 53
At 53-years-old, this Afro-Brit still has the beauty to make even long retired soldiers of love stand at attention. Who knew foreheads could be so sexy? Hi Rihanna.
Paula in the 80’s
2. Paula Abdul, 50
This 50-year-old former Laker Girl allegedly had a tryst with one of the American Idol contestants in the early days of the popular show. Given her apparent affinity for younger men, we were hoping she could audition for a new series we’re developing entitled, So You Think That Bandz Can Make Her Dance. It has a nice ring to it, huh?
Vanessa in the 80’s
3. Vanessa Bell Calloway, 55
Even at 55, we’d hop on one foot and give this queen “whatever she’d like!”
4. Debbi Morgan, 55
This 55-year-old woman was on Good Times, The White Shadow, and The Love Boat, for pete’s sake! Still… the creep in us all remembers Aunt Mozzelle from Eve’s Bayou and hopes she can’t see what we’re thinking.
Victoria in the 90’s
5. Victoria Rowell, 53
At age 53, Vicky has low-key been the object of our affections for many years. From the young and restless perv who can’t admit to his boys that he watches the stories, to the dirty old man that got stiff from Diagnosis: Murder, Victoria’s secret beauty has driven those of us in the know crazy for nearly a generation.