Remember when I said about a month ago we hit rock bottom with the NBA lockout? I lied. As of yesterday, we really hit rock bottom. Of course, there still remains a glimmer of hope God himself will hand deliver a miracle. But there’s also a chance Jerry Sandusky opens a daycare, too. In ways, yesterday’s outcome was something we’ve seen coming from a mile away; hell, even Billy Hunter tried to warn us months ago.
Still, there’s no real way to prepare yourself for a tragedy (and I mean “tragedy” in context). Since music is the language we all know and love, I present to you the second installment of “Depression Sets In.” On the following pages, five songs and a TSS bonus record help paint the picture of my sorrow of what could potentially be no basketball until the winter of 2012.
And if the world really does end next December, we’re all screwed.
1. Puff Daddy Feat. Faith Evans & 112 – “I’ll Be Missing You” — In no way is this to disrespect the legacy of Biggie Smalls. We miss you, B.I.G. That being said, I felt inspired to remix this classic tribute record to reflect my own loss:
“Seems like yesterday it was all the same
I wrote the post, you played the game
So far from hangin on the block for dough
NBA, they got to know that
Life ain’t always what it seem to be (uh-uh)
Words can’t express what you mean to me
Even though you’re gone, we still a team
Through 2K12, I’ll get LeBron a ring (that’s right)
In the future, can’t wait to see
If you open up the gates for me
Reminisce some time, day you decertified my friend (uh-huh)
Try to black it out, but it plays again
When it’s real, feelings hard to conceal
Can’t imagine all the pain I feel
Give anything to hear half a dribble (half a dribble)
I blame all this on Dan Gilbert’s scribble…”
Rap that verse along with Diddy and listen while Faith and 112 harmonize. Close your eyes and picture your favorite NBA memory. I guarantee a single forms in the side of your eye.
2. Aretha Franklin – “Hurts Like Hell” — If my life during the lockout was a movie, this song would play while I sat in a bar watching Memphis and Oklahoma City’s triple overtime thriller on mute. I’d take shots of Henny every time Russell Westbrook took an ill advised shot, which probably would be mean I’d be passed out by halftime. Now if I was in Applebees, their $3 Long Islands would be the drink of choice.
3. Aerosmith – “I Don’t Wanna Miss A Thing” — Man, listen. Do I even need to begin to speak on how crazy it was when Bruce Willis pushed Ben Affleck in the chamber thingy sacrificing his own life so Affleck could marry his daughter? Such a trill moment cinematic history. We could have avoided that asteroid that is the lockout, but apparently no one (i.e. owners) involved had the heart of Willis. And since we’re talking about the for stoppage, I’d like for someone to remix this and send this to league offices. The song title? “I Don’t Wanna Miss A(nymore) Game(s).”
4. K-Ci – “If You Think You’re Lonely Now” — I’ll tell you this. If you think having no NBA sucks now, wait until the day after the Super Bowl.
5. The Jackson 5 – “I’ll Be There” — You know, I talk a lot of sh*t when it comes to the lockout. It’s only because I’m pissed though. My favorite sport (yes, a micro-centimeter ahead of football) is gone and I’m reacting the only way I know how. But you know what? I’m not going anywhere. The second they announce this lockout is over, I’ll be the first person celebrating with Jesse Jackson tears. Will I be pissed about what we all will have endured? Of course, but I’m a sucker for hoops. There’s really not much more to it than that.
6. Consider Florida Evans’ cursing as your iTunes bonus track. I’m pretty sure this was how every basketball fan felt when the news broke on Monday afternoon.