We all been there before. Hard times do not discrimate against race, creed, religion, sexual preference, or geographical location. We’ve all been victims of it. Your boy Retro is no exception.
Rock bottom. When you dont think the shit couldn’t get any worse, but it does. And how. The worries follow you into your dreams, idle moments, hell, even when you’re sitting on the shitter. Makes you think that maybe they’ll even follow you into the next life.
Girl problems, drug problems, family problems, legal problems, problems. Jay was wrong, it’s definitely more than 99.
Take a puff on that Newport. When that last drag fades near the filter, it’s just a temporary shelter from what you’ve been forced to deal with. A slight reprieve, but still just a little slice of piece of mind.
Liquor helps, regardless of what people say. Stuck in your own world, for better or for worse, but still far away from the shit that bothers you. Until you pass out intoxicated and alone. By that time it’s already too late. You’re already past the point of no return, and past the point of being brought back to who you once were. You decide that living like this is better than dealing with it the way you should. Sometimes, you wake up and think “Damn, I’m still here,” half hoping you wouldn’t wake up because of the shit you gotta put up with. Is this all there is to life? Maybe.
I can’t say there’s a guarantee that things get better from here. All I can do is keep on pushing back. Until I’m too tired to go on, or until I give in to the bottle and the drugs. With everyday of partying and bullshit, the light at the end of the tunnel started to fade. There’s still an ounce of hope. But when that hope fades, there’s nothing left to life.
Shoutout to shorty who held me down when I really needed it. I was a piece of shit when you helped me out. I still am. But you’re my journal, even though we ain’t talk about that shit for a while. And I don’t know if you’ll ever know how grateful I am, but thank you.
This post was brought to you by the good folks at The Smoking Section. Because when you think you’re alone, you’re not. Other people feel the same shit you do. Stay on that hustle, leave your mark, and know that we can relate.
Not even a day after I posted this, Hip Hop has lost another one of its soldiers. RIP Proof, took one in the dome early Tuesday morning in the D. Our hearts are with his family and loved ones. Here’s a tune to go with all that’s been going on as well. Life’s a bitch and I’m not sure if I love her…
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