It’s with deep sadness and a broken heart I report that an extremely esteemed member of Beard Gang has unexpectedly deflected from the league of men with extraordinary facial hair. Drake Aubrey Graham shocked fans Friday morning with a picture of his naked face and news that he shaved off his beautiful beard because he’s dedicated to his craft.
“Beard making an epic comeback in 2 weeks….only for you @nbcsnl,” Drake captioned the now-deleted Instagram picture of his unrecognizable mug, much to my heartbreak and the heartbreak of millions of fans around the world. The SNL reference is a nod to his upcoming appearance on the show this Saturday, May 14.
Needless to say, women are completely besides themselves for the worst Friday the 13th in the history of calendars.
Many are taking to Twitter to express both their grief and horror while trying to make sense of this senseless news. “Drake is hideous without his beard. I’m sick [as f*ck]. Lordt help,” tweeted an inconsolable. Another just wanted to be left alone with her thoughts, tweeting, “I’m not happy! No one text me! DRAKE F*CKING CUT HIS BEARD OFFFJDNDJDN NDODKEKSKKE.”