Emwow: Vince For Eminem’s Recovery

06.16.10 8 years ago 8 Comments

I think we can all agree that there will never be another Billy Mays. He was the Benjamin Franklin of pitchmen, the Rick Ross of pushing product. However, unlike the modern-day rap fan, I’m not quick to crown any new jack on the scene with the slightest bit swagger “the next best thing” or better yet, “a savior.” But I do know talent when I see it. And while he’s no Marv Albert, Vince Schlomi has IT. He is a living, breathing, enunciating “wow” moment with great hair and the gift of gab.

In those green times when America needed a non-disposable product for pesky spills and something to shine our candy paint with, he gave us the Shamwow. We yearned for a kitchen product that channeled our aggression while making the average Tuna salad not so boring, he hit us off with the Slap Chop. Bottom line, if you have a product dolled up for mass consumption, let Vince pimp it.

His latest contraption, Eminem’s new compact disc Recovery, combines all the desirable aspects of the Slap Chop with shocking new features and the comedic element that made this whole empire what it is today. It’s genius actually, relying on pop culture instead of half-heatedly mocking it; a move not even I can knock. Ideally, it will find its way on to MTV Jams and strategically camouflage itself amongst the Booty Pop and Shake Weight.

Unlike the Banjo Minnow and Foreman Grill, I can’t say I will be clamoring to buy the CD slicer. At the very least, it did make me pay attention for :30 seconds. Touché to marketing team, and kudos to Vince. You all made me chuckle.

Plus, it reveals that Recovery was pushed up a whooping 24 hours. 6.21.10

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