Facebook Glitch Leaks Mark Zuckerberg’s Pictures, Reveals He’s A Very Boring Person

12.07.11 6 years ago 20 Comments

A recent malfunction in Facebook’s security (or lack thereof) leaked several of Mark Zuckerberg’s personal pictures, divulging absolutely nothing. This guy lives a duller life than OJ Simpson behind bars. There’s no Ace of Spades being carried in a wagon, no stripper poles in the basement, no T-Rex eggs in the fridge or for that matter any evidence of extravagance whatsoever. I guess everyday life for the average 20-something gazillionaire is pretty similar to everyday life for the average 20-something blogger (except I don’t own my crib, I rent).
Markie Mark is a beast with the yeast. His breaded chicken fingers and french fries are to die for.
Oh, and did I mention he can make his own sushi too. If he wasn’t running the planet’s largest social network, he’s probably be running Palo Alto’s finest fusion cuisine.
Best of all, he personally ensures that his ingredients are always organically home grown and farm fresh. Never frozen.
Let me say this now. Mark Zuckerberg for president in 2016. No matter how much political mudslinging he may have to endure, this guy has absolutely nothing to hide. Where Herman Cain’s chickens served him enough heat to run him straight out of the elections, Mark Zuckerberg’s chickens are best served hot with a side of fries.
Well, yeah…I guess he does do some things different than the rest of us.
Mini-bars? No sir. Only full-sized for a baller.
Zuckerberg’s Blue Label is the only indication of any kind of affluence. One day when I cash in on my own millions, I’ll have a bottle to myself too, instead of having to swipe it from my pops’ liquor cabinet.
The domesticated, debonaire young gazillionaire.
White people x dogs.
Dogs x white people.
The only thing that could make it better (or a future meme) is if the dog was a corgi. If it were, it’d be a meme.

Around The Web