Fat Joe Wants To Change Your Life With This Sca…Uhm, Money-Making Proposition

11.07.14 3 years ago 51 Comments

Did you “Boss Up With Juelz” when given the chance? Well, this may interest you at for the lulz alone.

In today’s episode of “old rappers pitching a pyramid scheme to you,” I present Fat Joe and Market America. In Joe’s 30-minute-long presentation, he finds a way to mix Beyonce and Big Pun’s names in there because “hey look guys, I’m famous and I know famous people. Cut the check.” The video’s description tells us that Joe has been appointed the “President of Urban and Latino Development,” so it’s good to see Joe is working his way up the ladder.

Joe also tells a story about how Relativity Records once forked over a million dollars for a Bone Thugs-N-Harmony video while tossing Joe a mere five thousand. According to the story, this changed his financial outlook on life. Little did we know that a Bone Thugs’ video would lead Joe down the path of one of those DirecTV commercials where if you have cable everything goes wrong. “When Bone gets a million dollar video from Relativity Records you become a pitchman for Market America. Don’t become a pitchman for Market America.”

Now, I don’t know how I’d feel about handing my money over to a dude who just got knocked for tax evasion, but that’s neither here nor there. I guess it’s good to see Joe still rocking sold out arenas though.

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