September 14 & 15, 2013: The Sports Utopia Weekend Is Upon Us

05.30.13 5 years ago 13 Comments


Tupac Shakur once said “after every dark day comes a brighter tomorrow” or something to that effect. Turns out he’s still dropping knowledge nearly 20 years following his death, too. Just a day after what will have been the 17th anniversary of his passing and Friday the 13th, sports fans nationwide will be treated to a Saturday and Sunday slate which should be nothing short of amazing.

Hear me out.

Saturday, September 14, 2013, 2:30 p.m. EST, CBS

Defending national champs/unofficial fifth NFC South team/football Mon-Stars, better known as the Alabama Crimson Tide, head to College Station to take on the reigning Heisman Trophy winner and all-around winner at life, Johnny Manziel, and Texas A&M. Last season’s matchup would’ve been enough to sell the day by itself. Not in 2013, however.

Saturday, September 14, 2013, somewhere around 11:30 p.m./midnight EST, Showtime

Floyd Mayweather took to Twitter last night to reveal his next title fight would be the same day at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas versus Canelo Alvarez. According to my brother in writing, sports and dark liquor, Eddie Maisonet, this is Floyd’s biggest fight since Oscar de la Hoya. Nonetheless, after this win, he’s going to pull up to King of Diamonds in an armored Boeing 747 or NASA Space Shuttle and $600,000 in singles to piss people off even more.

Sunday, September 15, 2013, 4:25 EST, (probably) FOX

Manning Bowl III! Big Brother Peyton visits Little Brother Eli in the third installment of the always hilarious “let’s-watch-Archie-cringe-for-60-minutes-because-he-can’t-pull-for-either-team” dynamic.

Sunday, September 15, 2013, 8:30 p.m. EST, NBC

Remember how excited as a kid we all got seeing the Ninja Turtles and Vanilla Ice scene from The Secret Of The Ooze? Or seeing Simba avenge Mufasa’s death by giving Scar the slow, painful death he deserved in The Lion King? Or how Martin felt after hitting the lotto? Or how this guy felt after learning child support payments weren’t in his future? Yep, it’s that type of euphoria now. Somehow, after all this, we’re capping the weekend off with the San Francisco 49ers traveling to Seattle for Week 2’s Sunday Night special.

Those grilling out that weekend in the D.C. area, let me know and I’ll bring brews, Jack Daniels and hamburger patties and we can really enjoy this man-weekend in style. Do whatever is needed with the ol’ lady Friday night or the weekend before. The universe doesn’t provide too many weekends like these.* The only way to properly show our sincerest appreciation is by eating, drinking and cursing friends out over sports.

What’s more American than that?

* – For what it’s worth, LeBron gets married that weekend, too. The NBA rumor mills will be on full tilt at that reception. Remember how everyone thought after Carmelo’s wedding reception Chris Paul, Amar’e Stoudemire and Melo were going to create their own “Big 3” in New York? Well, Amar’e knees officially turned into bread crumbs and Chris Paul is the floor general for the best basketball team in Los Angeles in the Clippers. Crazy how life actually plays out.

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