“Whatcha Gonna Do?” – Hulk Hogan’s Top 5 Matches

06.12.09 9 years ago 29 Comments

Watching the Hulk Hogan family drama unfold over the last couple of years has been difficult to watch, especially for us 80’s babies that grew up on saying our prayers and eating our vitamins. The Hogan family has become a freakshow of incestuous pictures, jail time for Hulk’s son and pictures of a kid half the Hulkster’s age gallivanting around town with Hulk’s wife.

Recently I was reminiscing about how awesome it was to be a Hulk Hogan fan growing up. Looking back on his matches, it’s pretty obvious that Hogan could barely put on a decent headlock as he was one of the worst wrestlers to ever perform once the match started. However, you don’t get to be such a megastar in wrestling without having a few great matches. So TSS is here to rank the top 5 Hulk Hogan matches of all-time.

5. Vs. Andre The Giant At Wreslemania III

This is possibly the biggest moment in wrestling history as Hulk Hogan and Andre The Giant met in front of 93,000 people n the Pontiac Silverdome. Hogan’s career was made the moment he bodyslammed Andre. This is an iconic image. But if you watch the match in its entirety, you’ll see it’s like watching a group of amputees trying to play Red Rover. Neither man was good in the ring and this match was horrendous. However, the big moment and sheer historical important makes this an easy top 5 pick.

4. Vs. Shawn Michaels At Summerslam 2005

In case you didn’t know, Hulk Hogan is an egomaniac that believed his own hype. He used to make power plays to guarantee that the writers would make him the winner as often as possible. Hulk, after this match had been made, pretty much forced the WWE’s hand to make him win if the match would take place. Shawn, who understood how preposterous it would look to be beaten by a man approaching 60, reacted by over-selling every Hogan punch as if he’d just been shot in the face by a cannon. It’s pure hilarity, but still a great match just because Michaels is just that good.

3. Vs. Macho Man Randy Savage At Wrestlemania V

People sleep on Macho man, but he was a great wrestler- much better than he was an MC. The two biggest starts of the 80s met to decide who would get to put the pipe down on Elizabeth…and I think for the title too. Macho carried Hogan to a great Wrestlemania match that ended with Hulk’s patented seizureshake Hulk-up and the big boot. Still, I bet Macho Man was the one that gave Miss Elizabeth the Slim Jim that night.

2. Vs. The Rock At Wrestlemania XVIII

This was the only match on the list I recall watching live and sweet goodness it was awesome. The Rock was the good guy. Hogan was the bad guy. But someone forgot to tell those crazy Canadians in the Toronto Skydome as they cheered Hogan like he just turned water to wine. The match was only so-so but the electricity in the crowd made this match.

*pause the first 30 seconds of this video*

1. Vs. The Ultimate Warrior At Wrestlemania VI

This was like Transformers vs. Votron. Superman vs. The Incredible Hulk. Colombo vs. Matlock. Two heroes you never thought you’d see battle each other. These were also two of the worst wrestlers to ever throw a clothesline. But they practiced for a month before the match and it showed. Both performed way above their means. And Hogan lost clean, which neeeever used to happen. Any kid that remotely followed WWE will remember this moment.

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