Javi Garcia Heads A Soccer Ball Really F*cking Well, Stoke Defends Really F*cking Poorly

09.17.12 5 years ago 11 Comments

There’s nothing more frustrating for soccer fans than watching an opposing team’s player go unmarked on a free kick. It’s like seeing a paycheck sans hours or hearing a House Republican try to explain current events: it’s hair-pulling fodder that’ll leave lots of grown men bald by their mid-thirties. Which is why Stoke fans had to have been ripping out handfuls of follicle when Manchester City’s Javi Garcia equalized against the northwest club on Saturday.

Now this isn’t to say that Garcia’s header wasn’t great. It was. He skyrocketed toward the heavens to nab Carlos Tevez’ free kick, cooly redirecting the ball past Stoke goalkeeper Asmir Begovic. But could it have been prevented? Of course. There were five Stoke players disposed around the leaping Garcia, all of whom did nothing but stand idle and tie their dicks together.

Stoke fans will rue the dropped points, because let’s not get it twisted: Stoke’s become a solid mid-table club in the English Premier League. Tony Pulis has the pieces to rob EPL giants of pride, dignity and points on a weekly basis, but shoddy defending will do nothing to negate their minnow moniker.

Also, check out Arsenal’s Lukas Podolski’s curling free kick against Southampton. The Saints might be this season’s EPL b*tch boys, but Gunner fans have reason to smile after seeing the German international curl his shot into the net. The world’s a better place with an Arsene Wenger attempting to emote happiness from the sidelines.

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