Go Figure: Washington Redskins Hire Bengals Offensive Coordinator Jay Gruden As New Head Coach

01.09.14 4 years ago 22 Comments

Football is stupid. Sure, the game itself is the best sport we have here in these United States, but dammit if the decisions made outside the lines aren’t the most inexcusable around.

Jay Gruden is the new coach of the NFL’s Washington football franchise. For those that don’t know, Gruden was the offensive coordinator of the Cincinnati Bengals: the team that always seems to have the wrong call at the right time. The same team that’s failed to crack 14 points in any of its playoff games under Gruden’s reign. The same team that passed on Colin Kaepernick in favor of Andy Dalton because Dalton fit Gruden’s “scheme” better.

Apparently that scheme that doesn’t work for an accurate thrower and read-option quarterback will work for an accurate thrower and read-option quarterback in D.C.

I tweeted during the game that Marvin Lewis, a defensive specialist who put together one of the best defenses in the league that won the division in spite of its inconsistent offense, would be out of a job while the offensive coordinator would be a head coach somewhere. It took less than a week for Gruden to get his job. The jury is still out on Lewis, but the blowhards at First Take calling for his job sure won’t help.

RGIII is part of a class of rookies unlike anything we’ve seen in decades. He’s alongside Wilson, Kaepernick and Luck as the next generation. They’re all like those kids who went to the same middle school and all made straight A’s…but instead of all going to the same prep school, RGIII’s mom moved him to the sh*tty public school on the other side of the tracks without working AC and his English teacher is functionally illiterate. In three years, RGIII’s career has been derailed by a lunatic regime and I’m not sure if Gruden will be any better (especially if the Redskins keep Haslett as DC).

Then, there’s the bigger issue. It took Lovie Smith an entire year to even get looked at. Marvin Lewis might never sniff another NFL coaching job again. And, well, you see where I’m going here. But whatever. Enjoy your new coach, Washington. I’m sure Jason Garrett, Jr. will work out great for you.

Photo: Getty

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