Jerry The Drunk

04.14.10 8 years ago 12 Comments

When you’re one of the richest men in America, there isn’t much else to do than get drunk with us common folk. Earlier today, the newswire began lighting up in regards to Jerry Jones, some alcohol, some guys with grainy cell phone footage, Bill Parcells and Tim Tebow.

Take a look over the transcript.

Jerry Jones: Romo was a miracle.

Other guy: It was a miracle, wasn’t it?

JJ: He almost never got in, and he almost was gone. Tebow would never…

Different other guy: What if you were the Jaguars or — would you just, just draft him and sell f#cking jerseys?

JJ: That’s the only reason I brought in Bill Parcells.


JJ: [Inaudible. Sounds a little like, “Sell mammoth f#ckin’ rake,” whatever that means.]

JJ: Bill’s not worth a sh#t. I love him.

Different other guy: I know you do.

JJ: Not worth a shit, but I wanted — they were on my a#s so bad. J’s gotta have a yes man. So to get this f#ckin’ stadium, I need to bring his ass in.

Different other guy: What, you, you wouldn’t take Tebow in the third round?

JJ: Why? He’d never get on the field. I can’t get him out there.


JJ: I can’t get him out there.

Classic drunk wasted talk. If the Cowboys aren’t your favorite team, you will gladly place this in your napsack of Dallas disses. If you’re a diehard fan like myself, well, you probably just don’t care. I will say this, though: Bill Parcells is a guru if he is allowed to implement his ideas properly (something that never happened in Dallas). Vying for control against Terrell Owens and Jerry Jones was a losing battle, regardless of how proven Bill’s track record was. Speaking of the Big Tuna, however, he and the Dolphins did sign Brandon Marshall today. The AFC East just got a lot more interesting.

As for Timmy T, poor guy. I don’t feel one way or the other about the Gainesville icon and I have no clue how his career will turn out. With the way everyone talks about him, you’d think he’s about to be Eric Crouch/Akili Smith part deux. But that’s another topic, for another time. Here’s what you paid your hard earned money on high speed internet for: “Jerry The Drunk.”

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