Internet, you’ve failed me. You’ve failed America. You’ve failed the world. Most importantly, you’ve failed yourselves. How does this golden nugget sit on YouTube for nearly four years and amass less than 7,000 views.
My buddy Brad forwarded John Earl The Spinner Man’s “Trap Star” last night. After watching several times, I left with five thoughts.
1. Public Access Television has long since produced its fair share of WTF-worthy moments. This is one.
2. John Earl gave us a truly magnificent YouTube caption.
THIS IS ME ON CASHVILLE LIVE PERFORMING TRAP STAR WITH MY LIL GIRLS AND THIR FRIENDS FROM THE HOOD DONT USE DRUGS KIDS
3. Sure, Jeezy’s “Trap Star” is the better of the two. But The Snowman NEVER. DID. THIS.
4. The little guy all the way to the right was so caught up in the moment he pulled off the Cabbage Patch, Macarena and The Worm and hadn’t broken a sweat by the end of the video. Meanwhile, little dude on the left had the “this is some bullsh*t” look and bop the entire time.
5. Perhaps the subject matter was meant to be a form of reverse psychology, and maybe “Trap Star” was intended to be an anti-drugs announcement. And after listening to what ol’ buddy was saying, how he was dancing and the unavoidable humongous plastic spinning rim the Wal-Mart near my house used to sell about a decade ago, if this doesn’t come off as a bizzaro Scared Straight, not much will.
Normally, I’d ask who would be the genius to speak of the luxuries of drug dealing with kids in the background. But John Earl The Spinner Man lives by the beat of his own drum. And don’t get it twisted either. The spinning rim is to John Earl what the clock was to Flavor Flav. Just look at his video for “Get Yo Money Put Yo Hands Up,” aka the funniest, most unavoidable trainwreck currently available on YouTube. Just wait till the Scarface-inspired hot tub makes an appearance.