Let’s just start by stating the obvious: the whole Jonathan Martin-Richie Incognito-Miami Dolphins situation has become a much bigger story than it ever should’ve been. But, that’s what happens during a slow news week; current day media hitches their collective wagon to drama and pushes it downhill to the point that we, as bystanders, get overburdened with it and hope all the wagon’s riders fall off a cliff so we never have to hear from them ever again.
But, before the crash, can I just say that this has afforded us a couple of great bits of dark humor that even HBO couldn’t script?
During halftime of Thursday night’s Skins-Vikings game, the crew made it their duty to touch on Martin’s saga since his lawyer David Cornwell, who also happens to represent Alex Rodriguez to handle his legal proceedings, released a fresh statement earlier. Near the end of quoting the attorney’s words, Rich Eisen told that there was a quote “that cannot be repeated on national television nor paraphrased with any gentlemanly manner whatsoever.”
Well, damn. Color me curious. They say, show and do everything on TV in 2013 so what the hell can Eisen not say that we haven’t been subjected to before?
A couple of clicks later, I found Cornwell’s statement and the quote, attributed to an unnamed member of the Dolphins to Martin: “We are going to run train on your sister. . . . She loves me. I am going to f–k her without a condom and c– in her c—.” [sic]*
Listen, we don’t know the context of how those words were delivered. As Christine Brennan points out, we’re talking a NFL locker room where we don’t know if all of the alleged misconduct should be categorized as bullying, hazing or other. It’s not that cut and dry.
But, I can tell you one thing that is clear. If a teammate talks that way to me about my sister and it’s meant any other way than guys trash-talking and cutting up, I don’t care if I’m the puny punter and he’s a 400-lb. nose tackle. We’re meeting in the parking lot. The only scandalous headline to make the news would’ve read “NFL Player Decapitates Teammate.”
Read Cornwell’s full statement below.
“Jonathan Martin’s toughness is not at issue. Jonathan has started every game with the Miami Dolphins since he was drafted in 2012. At Stanford, he was the anchor for Jim Harbaugh’s “smash mouth” brand of football and he protected Andrew Luck’s blind side.
“The issue is Jonathan’s treatment by his teammates. Jonathan endured harassment that went far beyond the traditional locker room hazing. For the entire season-and-a-half that he was with the Dolphins, he attempted to befriend the same teammates who subjected him to the abuse with the hope that doing so would end the harassment. This is a textbook reaction of victims of bullying. Despite these efforts, the taunting continued. Beyond the well-publicized voice mail with its racial epithet, Jonathan endured a malicious physical attack on him by a teammate, and daily vulgar comments such as the quote at the bottom. These facts are not in dispute.
“Eventually, Jonathan made a difficult choice. Despite his love for football, Jonathan left the Dolphins. Jonathan looks forward to getting back to playing football. In the meantime, he will cooperate fully with the NFL investigation.
Quote from teammate: “We are going to run train on your sister. . . . She loves me. I am going to f–k her without a condom and c– in her c—.”
* — It tickles me that they said “run train” instead of “run a train.” And then they said pron phrases like “c*m in her c*nt.” Who says this IRL?