06.08.09 9 years ago 37 Comments

Hundreds of miles removed, Summer Jam wasn’t of much consequence for me. But with no major fireworks or expected controversies slated like previous years, it was hard to even feign attention. If you want them, you’ll be bombarded with them across the net (or you could just make your way to Cipha Sounds Youtube page).

Let’s just hit the highlight, which would be T-Pain making his way on stage as Jay-Z performs “D.O.A.”

1. Jay’s song was not revolutionary. It’s what the listening public has been clamoring for.

2. As the one who originally rode the current wave of Auto Tuning to fame, Pain gets a pass, even appearing on stage (minus his “Big Ass Chain” which would’ve been a highlight for me). “You rappers singing too much/ Get back to rap, you T-Pain-ing too much/ I’m a multi-millionaire/ So how am I the hardest nigga here?”

What “D.O.A.” did on Friday was end yet another small era in rap. And it left me thinking: Does Jay officially usher in/exit out every trend in rap?

Jerseys — E’rybody had a throwback. E’rybody had a throwback. Hell, even chicks & designers took Jay’s cue & there were jersey dresses. By the time the average cat saved up enough to have a couple of jerseys for the rotation, Jay hollered out “Switch!” Then next thing you know it was…

“Getting your grown man on” — “get a suit…get it tapered up…” and “give me a crisp pair of jeans nigga….button ups.” Button-ups (or button-downs, if you want to be sartorially correct). Those expensive (and quite overrated) Evisu jeans. That aggin was getting old and he knew it. What better way to NOT stick out as “the old man” then to have everyone change their style to match yours?

Hustler To Rap Mogul-ing Aspiration — Working for the label & being contracted labor seemed so in the past once Jay, Dame & Biggs pushed Rocafella to prominence. Yet, owning a label & perhaps a clothing line was not enough. Switch!

Owning Sports Teams — Jay upped the ante by grabbing a minority stake in the Nets. Next thing you hear, Nelly got himself a minority stock. Usher got himself a minority stock. Damnit MICHELLE from Destiny’s child got herself a minority stock in a WNBA team.

Liquors — You see bottles of Ace Of Spades in these event pics like aggins really doing it up when they’re all just being conned.

Only thing I want him to do right now is just comb his hair before aggins think peasy is okay. It’s like everything else – it ain’t for everybody. The majority of us can do much better picking a style off the barbershop chart.

Plus we all know it costs these stars money to pull off that “hobo-chic” look. Knowing Jay, he prolly got the Talley nigga baby oiling his scalp & teasing his hair each morn so it looks perfectly imperfect. But there goes a style he can’t take actual credit for. Now, he’s just looking like the rest of these wannabe rockstar motherfuckers.

But Jay still does have the juice and that much is undeniable. We were all tired of the Auto Tune and knew it was played. Now there’s a voice bigger than ours to speak out for us because a billion voices still aren’t louder than Jay’s.

At this point, I’m beginning to think that he could even make “fetch” happen.

Download — Jay-Z – “D.O.A. (Death Of Autotune)”

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