Mario Balotelli Is Heading Back To England To Wreak Havoc

08.21.14 3 years ago 23 Comments
International Champions Cup 2014 - Liverpool v AC Milan

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Everyone won when Liverpool locked up a 16 million pound transfer for AC Milan forward Mario Balotelli because everyone wins when the English media is covering Balotelli.

If you’ll recall, Balotelli’s last stint in the English Premier League came just two seasons ago with Manchester City. In his three years at City, the 24-year-old racked up 30 goals in 80 appearances but more importantly provided even better tabloid fodder, including stamping on Scott Parker’s leg, fighting with his coach (who considers Balotelli like one of his children), and throwing darts at youth academy players because he was bored.

It doesn’t matter that Balotelli’s left his newsworthiness to what he does on the pitch rather than off recently. The English press–they’re f*cking sharks. And they’ll catch him slipping or fail trying to.

In any case, soccer fans are in luck, because there’s going to be more Balotelli regardless, considering Liverpool’s impending presence in the Champion’s League (Milan’s only competitions of note this year are Serie A and the Italian Cup).

We’ve also reached out to chef Mario Batali to see how his Twitter mentions are faring with Balotelli’s latest move to Jolly Ol’. We’ll update if he responds.

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