Laker Nation, this is going to hurt us more than it hurts you. But you asked for it by bombarding our comments guaranteeing championships and getting massively butthurt if anyone disagreed. We here at TSS aren’t right often, but we were lukewarm on the Lakers’ season from the beginning and got called all sorts of p*ssy ass b*tches for it. So let’s get on with it.
The Lakers wet the bed this year. Were they decimated by injuries? Of course they were. We all recognize that and no one’s going to sit here and deny anything of the sort. But if we’re recognizing that, there’s also the nugget the “unfuckwitable” starting five of Kobe, Steve Nash, Metta World Peace, Pau Gasol and Dwight Howard never won a game together when they all started. They were 0-7 and looked about as comfortable playing with one another as Doug Gottlieb did after his race joke went wrong.
Photo: Wally Skalij/LA Times
And seriously, whose fault is it they A) signed a 39-year-old banged up point guard, B) basically had that same point guard play off-the-ball all season when he’s proven to be one of the finest offensive, team-minded floor generals in NBA history, C) played Kobe 52 minutes a night and D) hired a coach who’s just as notorious for running with short benches than his lack of focus on defense? This, Laker Nation (not every Lakers fan is annoying believe it or not), is what the rest of us championship-less bastards call “humble pie.”
We’re all family here at TSS. And at TSS, we hold each other accountable. We damn near drove Tins to the brink of depression after the 2011 Finals and look at the guy now. So in that regard, we’ve found a healthy chunk of the most hilarious Laker-related comments since last summer that you’re going to have to own up to now that they’ve been swept in the first round. Because, really, you didn’t see it coming.
Stop taking yourself too seriously and laugh along with us. And remember, you guys did this to yourself.
“The Lakers now boast Steve Nash, Kobe Bryant, Who Cares, Pau Gasol and Dwight Howard as its starting line-up. Three MVPs. Seven Championships. Two Defensive Player Of The Year trophies. A lock for the Finals? Maybe, but the Lakers still have to contend with its biggest threat that’s not going away: Mike Brown.” – From “Four-Team Deal Lands Dwight Howard In L.A., Iguodala In Denver While Bynum Will Troll Philly” (8/10/12)
“By the way, you can go ahead and mark my words here. The Lakers will not win an NBA championship as long as Mike Brown is the head coach. He’s like that short period of time when Kanye West was supposed to be working with Soulja Boy. All that talent and quality only to be wasted on a sub-par person that doesn’t do it justice. But I digress.” – From “Reason #289 To Hate Dwight Howard: Crying Before His Laker Debut” (10/22/12)
“Remember when I said the Lakers wouldn’t win a title with Mike Brown as the head coach? Well, I’m going to go ahead and say the same thing about D’Antoni.” – From “Bad To, Well, Still Pretty Bad: Lakers Hire Mike D’Antoni As New Head Coach” (11/12/12)