Remember Steve Lattimer, the apeshit linebacker from The Program who nearly raped a girl because of ‘roid rage? Well, I’m pretty sure he was at the bar last night watching Michigan and Notre Dame. The guy was doing triceps exercises with chairs in between timeouts, running to every Michigan fan each time Devin Gardner tossed a touchdown pass and was tripping off some weird concoction of coke, Red Bulls and more coke.
In regards to the game itself, Gardner led Big Blue past the Irish in a 41-30 thriller that saw him find teammate Jeremy Gallon for 184 yards and three touchdowns in route to the quarterback’s 376 total yards and five touchdowns. The fourth quarter, however, saw its ample share of fireworks and for a moment appeared as if Notre Dame would walk out of the Big House with a comeback victory after being down 34-20 in the fourth. That’s because Gardner’s lone mistake was a critical one when he backpedaled into the endzone, and instead of taking a safety attempted to throw the ball away only to have it land in the hands of Dame’s Stephon Tuitt.
A touchdown drive and Tommy Rees freaky endzone interception later, Wolverines’ faithful breathed a sigh of relief and look to land inside the Top 15 once the new polls are announced.
As for Lattimer at the bar, well, I’m not sure what ended up happening to him. By the time I left, he was doing laps around the place.
Speaking of a 41-30 final score, Georgia scored a must-win victory after defeating SEC rival South Carolina. Prior to the game, ESPN’s College Gameday did a special on Jadeveon Clowney and basically showed the student body saying he was overrated and that he’d be a non factor which promoted me to openly admit my fear for Aaron Murray’s life.
Turns out Murray quieted the critics at least for one week who said having the balls to step up and win a big game just wasn’t in his DNA. The senior signal caller not only kept his limbs in tact avoiding Clowney, he threw for 309 yards and four touchdowns on an extremely efficient 17-23 passing, including the back-breaking 85-yard pitch and catch with Justin Scott-Wesley. Aside from Murray, place a huge amount of credit on the lap of Georgia’s all-everything tailback Todd Gurley as well. He produced a workhorse Saturday carrying the rock 30 times for 134 yards and one touchdown.
Georgia and South Carolina combined for nearly 1,000 yards in game that was instantly needed to save the Dogs’ season. And the crazy part is, UGA isn’t out of the woods yet this month either. They’ve still got #9 LSU at home on September 28. As for Clowney, who entered this season with as much hype as anyone in the country, he’s yet to put on a superstar caliber performance the mystique around him cultivated throughout the summer.
Clowney hears the talk of “overhyped” beginning to bubble in the background, which isn’t necessarily warranted only two games into a still young season (and the fact he had the exact same stats through two games last year). That and teams are purposely running away from him and double blocking him. Now it’s all his response. This may or may not spell very bad and violent things for their next opponent, Vanderbilt, and its quarterback Austyn Carta-Samuels if standout left tackle Wesley Johnson fails to hold up his end of the bargain.
The reigning SEC Defensive Player of the Year and presumptive first defensive player taken in next year’s draft finished Saturday with a perceived less than impressive stat line: three tackles, a sack and a tackle for loss.
— Oregon may be the quietest #2 in recent memory. The Ducks traveled all the way across the country to face UVA in a game that was never competitive to begin with. Sparked by De’Anthony Thomas’ 124 yards on 11 carries, three of which went for touchdowns, and Marcus Mariota’s 321 total yards and three total touchdowns, Oregon waltzed away with a 59-10 W.
— The University of Miami (they’re not back to “The U” yet) pulled off perhaps the upset of the day with their 21-16 victory over #12 Florida. Miami’s Stephen Morris wasn’t exactly dominant despite his two touchdown passes, but Jeff Driskel’s poor ball protection did the Gators in several times in the redzone.
— You’re reading this right. Western Kentucky turned the ball over five times in SIX PLAYS. A 3-0 lead over Tenneesse turned into a 31-3 hole before Bobby Petrino realized where he was.
— Teddy Bridgewater and Louisville continued to dismantle everything breathing with a 44-7 drudging of Eastern Kentucky. Bridgewater threw for 397 yards and four touchdowns. Since we’re on the topic of drudging, open handed slapped UAB all around the field to the tune of a 56-17 victory.
— USC will be unranked in the new polls. The Trojans only mustered 192 total yards in a 10-7 loss to Washington State. Reportedly, Southern Cal fans were calling for Lane Kiffin’s head by halftime.
— Ohio State fans – the “lovable” fan base they are – are likely celebrating their 14-game winning streak with added caution. Potential Heisman candidate Braxton Miller was carted off the field with a sprained knee in the first quarter. Thankfully, he had no true reason to play through the pain as OSU went on to win 42-7 behind backup QB Kenny Guiton.
— In his first full game back, Johnny Manziel’s second career 400-yard passing game helped lead Texas A&M to 65-28 blowout of Sam Houston State. And now, ladies and gents, we are officially in countdown mode to next Saturday’s clash of the titans between A&M and Alabama.
— #15 Texas fell victim to an upset as well to unranked BYU. Brigham Young quarterback Taysom Hill ran for 259 yards and three touchdowns. The Longhorns haven’t been right since Alabama beat them, as @TylerdissidENT so eloquently put it, “straight beat them into mediocrity” following the 2010 national title game.
— Baylor put up 70 points on them and nearly 800 yards of total offense on Buffalo, and Robert Griffin III hasn’t been a student there in nearly two years. Best quote following the game? Baylor’s coach Art Briles, “We’re not trying to jockey and win on a field goal late in the game. We try to win now and see what happens. I learned a long time ago, if you’re not trying to score, you’re not going to score.” Ricky Bobby approves.
— Michigan State improved to 2-0 on the season (their offense remains unbearable to stomach) following a 21-6 win over South Florida. However, the coolest moment came when the school’s legendary basketball coach, Tom Izzo, convinced the student body to take safety during a lightning delay. He said if they simply complied, he’s sit with them when the delay was over. And he did.