I just want to come clean with everyone regarding Mike WiLL’s “23” video and their newfound working relationship. I just can’t hold back anymore.
1. Miley Cyrus disrespected the shit out of Michael Jordan’s jersey. I’m talking spraying over a rival gang’s tags on the wall disrespect.
A. No woman should be wearing a jersey dress in 2013.
B. Any celebrity considering wearing one should be stopped by their stylist and reminded that Mya did it best. Her or Mariah, depending on what flavor a person likes. If it isn’t one of those two, nobody needs to be doing it.
C. Young Flatback’s version of a jersey dress looks more like a jersey diaper.
2. I pray fo’ the Apostle Paul and ten more white people that Mike’s schmangin’ Miley.
Oh, don’t act like I’m the only one thinking it with the way these two carry on. I saw When Harry Met Sally years ago and Friends With Benefits, too. Both movies said men and women can’t be friends. But, that’s beside the point. I genuinely hope he’s diggin’ her back out and he’s Clarence Carter stroking to the point that his peen is repeatedly tapping her brain, leaving her irrational enough for her to add Mike onto her checking account, thus giving him access to that Disney money.
Just wait to her grandparents see Mike pullin’ up to the table come Thanksgiving and Miley pregnant with child. Some straight K-Fed shit.