It Only Took The Netherlands Six Minutes To Boot Mexico From The World Cup

06.29.14 4 years ago 12 Comments
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Twitter/Javier Soriano/AFP

The Netherlands–somehow, someway–defeated Mexico 2-1 this afternoon in a Round of 16 match, and how that win happened probably won’t even make it a top-five game this year because…

…Just holy sh*t, this World Cup.

Played in sweltering conditions in Fortaleza (at one point, the humidity coupled with the temperature made it feel like 104 degrees), the two teams battled for 90 minutes plus stoppage time, with Mexico seeming like the more dangerous of the two squads over the majority of the match.

El Tri’s quick counters and build-up play eventually lead to a scorcher of a goal in the 48th minute from Giovani dos Santos, wretched past shaky Dutch keeper Jasper Cillessen just outside the box, but the Mexicans appeared to tire as the match wore on.

Another reflex save by Mexico’s omnipresent goalkeeper Memo Ochoa (seriously, how many of these f*cking saves has this guy had this month?) in the second half put off the Dutch until the 88th minute, but then two things happened in the span of approximately six minutes:

— Mexico allowed The Netherlands’ Wesley Sneijder to piss all over la Virgin de Guadalupe with a half-volley ripper to tie the game in the 88th minute. Seriously, watch this below and the guess at how fast it was actually traveling before hitting the net.

— Rafael Marquez tripped Arjen Robben in the box in the 94th minute, giving the Dutch a game-winning penalty kick.

Why Marquez was that clumsy around Robben–who had been fishing for a PK all game–will leave the brightest among us confused, but Klaas-Jan Huntelaar took to the spot to put the game away.

The Mexicans didn’t deserve the ending they got, especially after the tournament they’ve had. But that’s the game of soccer, so while El Tri heads home, the Dutch have a quarterfinal date with either Greece or Costa Rica on Saturday.

However, Dutch Royal Airlines stay losing:

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