The culinary mind behind Twinkie Pie, the “Fat Darrell” sandwich, and fried butterballs poured out her black, clogged, heart in the hope that you n-words will forgive her. After allegations that she used racist, anti-Semitic, and otherwise inappropriate, language became public, television personality Paula Deen cooked up a fresh batch of deep fried damage control with a 46-second video apology.
The apology comes after the National Enquirer leaked what they purported to be direct quotes from a three hour deposition. The deposition is in relation to a lawsuit being filed by a former employee against Deen and her brother for, you guessed it, racist and inappropriate behavior at a restaurant of which they are co-owners. By the way, her brother’s name is Bubba because of course it is.
Although the apology is short, there appear to be several edits to the emotional footage, and the video has been made private at least twice. Thankfully, The Internet saved an archived copy of the footage for your viewing pleasure. Pull up a chair, grab yourself some stuffing on a stick, and hear the pain that replaces the usually dulcet tones of Deen’s southern twang. I bet it will make you wish you were in Dixie. Hurrah!
In addition to the video, Paula went the extra mile by cranking up her corn squeezins-fueled computer and updated the photo on her website’s schedule page to include a black guy. What a sweetheart she is. I’m not sure if I want to shuck or jive in celebration. I may just do both.
Update: Second video of Paula apologizing.
Update: Food Network has decided not to renew Paula’s contract.