Want to know my grandma’s new favorite song? John Legend’s “All Of Me.”
I know it’s not “new.” You know it’s not “new,” but my grandma hasn’t seriously checked on new music in damn-near 30 years. In fact, she only heard about the song because some news report said Legend sang the hit record at Kanye and Kim’s wedding.
Needless to say, she loves the number and it’s only a matter of time before she asks me to put it on her phone. I just have to make sure I don’t screw up and upload the Plies version. Why? Because it’s Plies and he says stuff like:
“Long as I can wake up every morning
Kiss you right on yo’ p*ssy I ain’t gon’ complain about nothing…”
“I hope that thing so good make me think about drinkin’ yo’ bath water
Go on and tell a bitch bout me I ain’t making you sign no gag order…”
And just to let you know he’s real:
“Them lil’ stretch marks you got that sit on yo’ ass cheeks
When I’m hittin’ from the BYKE look like the ocean to me…”
Thankfully, grandma will never know this version exists. For the rest of us, however, it’s just example in a book that’s been writing itself since 2006. Plies is rap’s greatest Hallmark card. Respect the game.
PS. – How Plies has yet to release his own version of the Kama Sutra is beyond me. Watching him talk bedroom theatrics with Dr. Laura Berman would be worth figuring out what channel OWN is.