Words By Marky Mark
Planet Snoop is one of the greatest things to ever happen to the world, and I say that with not an ounce of hyperbole or cynicism in my words. For example, the latest episode finds Snoop Dogg providing commentary for a knockdown, drag-out fight between a snake… and a squirrel. Or to paraphrase a legend, it’s one hell of a “sloberknocker.”
Snoop cannot believe that the snake is getting all that work from a squirrel — so much so that he believes the squirrel is part of a gang, and I’m inclined to agree with him. Apparently, Disney has lied to me because squirrels aren’t cute, cuddly rodents who break acorns for fun. In reality, they’re gangsters who aren’t to be tested by anyone — man, woman, child or snake.
Seriously, the squirrel is biting the snake all over, and like Snoop said — if he can break an acorn with his teeth, it’d be easy to break the snake’s head. Is it possible that we need to rethink what we’re afraid of now and put the squirrel above the snake in the food chain? (To say nothing of what it says about snakes or this snake in particular.) Regardless of whom the squirrel is affiliated with, that snake is its b*tch.
It’s awesome that Snoop is stepping into the world of Mystery Science Theater 3000* like the rest of the Internet. Adding smart-ass commentary to videos like this is one of America’s favorite pastimes, so Snoop is in good company.
* — The guys who invented watching things just to make fun of them, and bringing people to tears from laughing in the process.