Dig a hole. Bury yourselves.
We’ve gathered here today on this annual ceremony, not to mourn, but to celebrate the DEATH of music that has stolen precious minutes we shall never get back for our cherished lives. The album still holds its rank as the premier event in an artist’s career but there’s too many distractions (first week sales, features, artificial beef) shifting us away from the most important aspect: the music. And if it’s attention they want, they definitely got it right here.
Light a candle. Grab a veil. Slap a pallbearer. We’re gonna have ourselves a funeral.
Lil Wayne – Tha Carter IV [Young Money/Cash Money] — Weezy’s been fully functional with a scrambled brain for so long that the terms of his probation upon his release from prison turned his mind into Eggs Benedict. How else would you explain rhymes sounding like they were taken from a My First Punchline Book and anyone with the marbles to green light that Shyne verse? Let us all cremate this from memory and move forward.
Lupe Fiasco – Lasers [Atlantic Records/1st & 15th] — If Losers trekked from all over the globe to Occupy Wasulu previously heard the finished turd otherwise known as Lupe’s third album, my guess is the event wouldn’t have taken place. To his credit, the Lupester did publicly denounce the aforementioned turd but the tracks were recorded from his lips and he actually sold plenty of records. So he’s probably not stressing the critical bashing.
Sidebar — His latest mixtape was ass too.