Discussion online about Michael Bay-produced Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles reboot has been raging for some time now, and only the bare bones of information had been released. Today, a grainy video of the first teaser trailer hit the web and, because my grandma always taught me my manners, here’s a list of 10 polite things to say about this trailer.
1. Shreddar’s mask doesn’t look bad.
2. Megan Fox is still really hot.
3. There is no sign Shia Labeouf…or Dane Cook for that matter.
4. Vanilla Ice is also missing from the soundtrack.
5. The voice actors don’t sound bad.
6. The studio saved money by reusing footage from Transformers 1-3 and every other Michael Bay film.
7. Sloth from the Goonies appears to have found a new job playing Michelangelo.
8. So far Dr. Neil deGrasse Tyson has told us this trailer does not give you cancer.
9. Leonardo looks like he might actually slice somebody with his katanas.
10. Guardians of the Galaxy will still be in theaters when this comes out. So you can probably go see that again.