RIAA-Ruined Rap: The 20 Worst Platinum Hip-Hop Albums Of All Time

01.26.12 5 years ago 95 Comments

We all know the saying, “Men lie, women lie, numbers don’t…” which has become the modus operandi on how the music industry deems it should cater to when measuring an album’s worth. Nevermind the caliber of the songs that are included on those albums. That would be insane, wouldn’t it? Today, platinum albums are a rarity in rap music and it’s quite possible fans have been burned one too many times to get anywhere near the oven again.

For anyone who has had to endure a conversation where record sales were used as leverage, here’s a list of twenty terrible Hip-Hop albums that spit in the face of the happy medium and were still financially successful. Everything that glitters ain’t gold and everything that’s platinum isn’t worth the Hip-Hop hooray.

20. Foxy Brown – Chyna Doll [Def Jam/1999]
Lead Single: “Hot Spot”

Def Jam’s anointed queen was destined to have automatic commercial success at any cost, yet and still, Chyna Doll didn’t move too many heads to buy into her shenanigans in the near future. Which is a shame because the follow-up, Broken Silence was the best album of her career.

19. Jadakiss – Kiss Of Death [Ruff Ryders/2002]
Lead Single: “Times Up”

Yeah, so what Mr. Muah asked a few prolific questions that got the Pentagon a little aroused. It doesn’t change the fact that he spent the rest of the LP trying to be superthug to every generic situation under the sun. When’s the last time you heard “Time’s Up,” “Hot Sauce To Go” or “Gettin’ It In” on SHADE 45? Answer: Not Never!

18. Lil Wayne – Tha Carter IV [Young Money/2011]
Lead Single: “6 Foot, 7 Foot”

The C4 bashing on TSS is still warm from the microwave, but boo-f**kin’-hoo. It’s 2012 and championing celebrity status over unique talent is why commercial media for Hip-Hop is so boring and predictable.

17. Fat Joe – Jealous Ones Still Envy (J.O.S.E.) [Atlantic/2001]
Lead Single: “We Thuggin'”

Imagine the puzzlement Fat Joe experienced when he struck a million sales by dropping a couple wack songs with R. Kelly and Murder Inc. after years of performing critical beatdowns in his traditional style. Well, this project hasn’t aged well because those songs aren’t hits anymore and chasing the shiny record has only hurt The Don. He’s been making the same album since 2001.

16. Mystikal – Tarantala [Jive/2002]
Lead Single: “Bouncin’ Back (Bumpin’ Me Against The Wall)”

Although Mystikal worked hard to become a star outside of the shadow of Master P’s tank, 2002’s Tarantula didn’t have enough venom to make a baby cry for their mother. Sadly, it was his last musical output before a six-year bid in prison. And to show just how much sales screw the system, this weed plate was nominated for a Grammy in 2003.

15. Method Man – Tical 2000: Judgement Day [Def Jam/2000]
Lead Single: “Judgement Day”

The curious of case of Method Man is one that a week long special of Unsolved Mysteries couldn’t crack. Even with all the talent displayed on the various Wu-Tang albums and Biggie’s “The What,” it never transferred to a solo release. Sure, the 28-track Tical 2000 sold off of namesake but no one’s ever been in a greatest album discussion where it was brought up. Not even one where Method Man was standing there.

14. 50 Cent – The Massacre [G-Unit/2005]
Lead Single: “Disco Inferno”

Coming off the hysteria of Get Rich Or Die Tryin’, 50 probably could have sold a blank disc. Truth be told, The Massacre would have benefited from having a chunk of the records erased from the master copy all the same. Too concerned with marketing strategies instead of making forceful music, 50 scanned tons of units but continued to grow disconnected from the rap world.

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