Only a week into the World Cup, I’m pretty certain I’ll soon need a
recovery period break. You see, this is my first as a conditionally legal alcoholic. It also marks the first time in my short life that drinking at 7am daily has been considered normal, even admirable behavior (in the sense of physical endurance and accomplishment).
It’s been quite the vicious cycle. By the time the day’s second match kicks off at 10am, the taste of $6-a-pack Sapporos (quite the steal in NYC, mind you) and Newports is stained in my teeth. Then, the countdown begins until I can race over to the $1-a-slice pizza spot on St. Mark’s that opens at 11, praying that they got an early start on the pepperoni pies (they hardly ever do). And the cycle-within-a-cycle continues for the third match at 2pm—all the while I try to conduct a normal workday and later strive to chase after the women wearing next-to-nothing at nighttime in NYC. Thank god I’m “working from home” this summer.
It goes without saying then that my beloved Three Lions need to win against Algeria. The disturbing lack of dental hygiene, the packing on of the pounds (four already *pats self on back*), the lost iPhone amidst a drunken stupor, and the dwindling bank account this week must have some greater justification. If “my team” continues playing until July 11th and thus the cycle keeps going, too, then so be it. The 20 pounds of pizza fat that will have boosted my cup size and the mounting debt that will have prevented me from paying my cable bill (Mad Men, next month!) will have been worth it and all will be forgiven. Any fan of any squad would agree.
— France sucks (and props to Mexico). But just like ’06, they can qualify for the knockout stage with a decisive win in their last group game (against South Africa) and with some help in the other match. Then, who knows what French squad will show.
— Greece may have won their first World Cup match ever, but this ain’t Euro ’04.
— A day after Atlético man Diego Forlán almost notched a hat trick against South Africa, his cross-town club rival and neighboring national rival Gonzalo Higuain grabbed the first one in a World Cup since 2002 against South Korea. Messi didn’t get on the scoresheet, but was an integral part in the lopsided victory.
— Spain looked like their classic, underachieving selves again the Swiss in the tournament’s biggest upset, but they should be able to get back on track in an otherwise easy group.
— Brazil looked unspectacular against a North Korean squad that many suspect face the wrath of Kim Jong-Il if they fail to perform well. In passing, someone somewhere said that the North Korean fans must be actors. Roffle.