Let’s be honest — baseball games themselves can be pretty freaking boring. You’re not going to see close to as many dynamic athletic plays you as you can in basketball or football. So what do you do if you’re a baseball addict who has to sit through four hour games every day for six months? Argue. A lot. About statistics, history, fantasy baseball, MVPs, Gold Gloves, who’s overrated, who’s underrated, who’s on steroids, who’s talking shit about whom, etc. With opening day around the corner, here are some topics to start arguments.
NL MVP — Consensus Picks
1. Albert Pujols
2. Chase Utley
3. Aramis Ramirez
The mainstream media finally caught on last year: Albert Pujols is the best player in the game. By far. Expect him to go on a Bonds like run of MVPs from now until 2013 or so.
AL MVP — Consensus Picks
1. Grady Sizemore
2. Miguel Cabrera
3. David Ortiz
Sizemore’s 33 HR/38 steal season last year portends a potential 40/40 season in ’09 and I think the Indians will win the Central. Miguel Cabrera’s going to be fully adjusted to AL pitching and primed to destroy, so long as he can stay away from the donuts.
Patrick M.’s Four-Five
“It ain’t to play games with you, it’s to aim at you…” with good picks that is.
Top 5 Fantasy Picks
If you have a top 5 pick, consider filling a shortstop hole with the dynamic Ramirez or Reyes, even if Wright, Sizemore and Cabrera may put up better numbers.
Top 5 Fantasy Sleepers
Upton and Bruce are former top prospects who should be at the top of the TSS MVP list by 2011 at the latest. Jump on that shit now and tell your friends how smart you are that you saw that shit coming early. You can even play Charles Hamilton to my Black Spade and I won’t care.
Top 5 Fantasy Busts
I hate Derek Jeter as much as any athlete, but I’ll admit he’s Hall of Fame bound. Even the greats get old though, and this the year for Jetes (and Vlad too.) Hamilton will be good, but don’t waste a first rounder on him.
Top 5 Likely To Be Suspended For Steroids
Steroids is the Auto-Tune of baseball: it’s annoying, it drains the authenticity and cheapens the enjoyment of product, and it’s not going away any time soon, no matter how much we’d like it to. With A-Rod’s name being leaked illegally, you know more are to come. As for TC’s inclusion on the list, it’s the only explanation for how that motherfucker reviewed EIGHT Bone Thugs related albums in 2008. Definitely some sadomasochistic PEDs going on there. Seriously dude, get help.