Jason Witten Runs Over A Cowboys Cheerleader

11.25.11 6 years ago 7 Comments

The Dallas Cowboys’ cheerleaders have always been semi-celebrities in their own right, but in these past few weeks they’ve become interesting subplots to games. First, Buffalo Bills wide receiver David Nelson scored his team’s lone touchdown (44-7, hoe!) only to sprint to the opposite side of the field to give his girlfriend/Dallas cheerleader Kelsi Reich the ball. And yesterday, Jason Witten truck sticked another as he was pushed out of bounds. In all fairness, the play was wacky from the start as Romo’s pass was altered after being blasted by a blitzing Karlos Dansby. From there, Witten, who likely runs a 11.2 40, picked up a very crucial first down and his forward progress led him out of bounds with a defender strapped to his back.

A man that big, with another man attached to his hip, running full speed towards a defenseless cheerleader was never going to end good. The young lady was more embarrassed than anything else and made for a good laugh during an otherwise tense fourth quarter for yours truly. But while I have everyone’s undivided attention, let me say these four things.

1. Don’t hit me with none of that “oh, the Cowboys will fold once December comes” nonsense. Bitch, I’ll worry about that bridge when it gets here. It’s not everyday I get to sit in the winner’s circle, so I’m going to enjoy it while it’s here. As of 11/25/2011, first place feels damn good and you can go to hell with a full ride scholarship if you’ve got anything to say about that.

2. Thank the good Lord for bestowing my Cowboys with DeMarco Murray, Dan Bailey, Laurent Robinson and Rob Ryan. Speaking of Rob, how he is working with that suspect ass secondary is nothing short of amazing at times.

3. Go Tom Brady and Drew Brees.

4. Romo, for my sanity, please, I’m begging you, keep playing like this (minus those two INT’s).

Respect: YB

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