Shoulda Killed ‘Em When We Had A Chance….

05.30.09 8 years ago 30 Comments

Yep, these midgety Negroes again…This one in particular.

Now, we no longer have the element of surprise on our side.

See, Contra™ has younger sisters, nieces and other female younglings that are somehow or other kin. When they finally came across the petition to have Pretty Ricky (and all involved parties) wiped off the face of this planet violently, they cussed me to Hell’s fiery pits 50 times over claiming I was “over reacting”. They were not aware that that was for their own good, and really the ultimate good of the world. Until this randomness happened.

Preface: NSFW does not suffice for this particular video. This one is not safe to view in public. Even if viewed in private it will require you to (if male) to A.) keep your distance from the monitor(recommended 2 times arms length) or B.)have an extra grimy track queued up in your media player (preferably not DMX) because you will need something to chase the aftertaste out of your mouth.

Personally, I didn’t even bother watching the whole video. I already wear glasses, I can’t afford further ocular damage or higher insurance premiums. About 10 seconds in, I googled a transcript and backstory. Apparently the dude in the Speedo decided that he should dance for his male peers so that they in turn could dance for him too. A good old “I think you gyrate rather sexy, but I gyrate even more sexy” kind of dance off. Why he was naked to begin with, no one can say for certain. It puts the lotion on its skin unless it gets the hose again, maybe.

Either way, after realizing that having a song about drunken intercourse promoted by dancing for men may be perceived as a gay move, the lil’ homohomie tried to hit “Pause” on the whole operation. “I did it for the ladies.” No sir, you did it like a lady. For a bunch of men. We don’t believe you, and more people wouldn’t help at this point. They just make it worse. Unless you’re in a penitentiary and have access to YouTube. In which case, you’re celebrating all these half naked boys grinding for each other courtesy of Sexy Spec, Lingerie and the rest of Pretty Ricky.

Suffice it to say, this could all have been avoided if we’d just lynched these ricketty attention starved rapists 5 months ago. Yeah, I said ‘rapists’. You watch that video and tell me that boy will grow up to be anything other than a child molester and I’ll have to four-finger backhand smack your teeth into your cheeks. You can already see his face on a mugshot with an inset picture of a missing 8 year old blonde girl named Lil’ Fany(short for Little Tiffany). Or Lil’ Timmy. Who knows? My dude is so far in the closet right now, he’s got one foot in Narnia. And we all know that everything’s possible in Narnia.

Here at TSS, we genuinely care. About you, your fresh, and your well-being (in that order). So although sometimes we I may say things that sound irrational, please understand that it’s for your own good.

Now someone please find Ron Browz and elbow him in the throat if he refuses to give up Autotune. Future generations will be in your debt.

Previously Posted — Why Pretty Ricky Should Be Executed

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