Will & Kate Greeted By Topless Hosts

09.19.12 5 years ago 5 Comments

We have no realistic idea where Tavanipupu is but you have to think the people there have the most awesome sense of humor. When Will and Kate arrived there on their current tour of Asia and the Pacific, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge were greeted by a contingent of topless, dancing women who do not give a damn about a photo scandal going on elsewhere in the world. Nope, they just walk up and put their boobs all in the couples face then break out in the Tavanipupuian version of the Wobble. The royal couple keeps proper face but the guy at the :41 can’t hold it together for the life of him.

2012 has paled in comparison to 2011’s celebrity nudes, a year in which we had quantity and quality. With this year closing out, all we’re getting is a huge fuss about Kate’s boobies when there probably shouldn’t be one, at least not to the proportion it has reached. Yes, she’s royalty and it’s understood the Royal Fam can’t have her nakedness plastered across newsstands worldwide. Yet, Kate’s new to this princess thing and has to understand the gravity of her position in relation to the paps. Sunbathing is no longer an option. If she goes outside displaying the royal tittays, the camera vultures will be hanging from trees just waiting to snap shots and sell them to the highest bidder. Unfortunately, she’s going to have to hit the tanning bed like other white women.

Above all and with no disrespect meant, Kate’s bee stings aren’t worth all the bemoaning and news coverage they’re receiving. Those two t*tties are perky and all, but nobody’s looking more than once. They (the royals, not the breasts) would fair better to forgo the lawsuits and stop protesting so much. Instead, pull a Prince Harry by brushing it off and keep moving right along as if it were just another day in the life.

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