Spoiler Alert: Wisconsin Coach Bo Ryan Is A Gaping A-Hole

04.19.12 6 years ago 2 Comments

One of sports’ biggest debates is between the two camps on either side of the “college athletes should get paid” argument. One side thinks that college kids get paid enough thanks to full tuition, tutoring and residual poontang. The other side thinks that college athletes are mere plantation workers churning out millions for institutions that couldn’t care less about their well-being. While the truth probably lies somewhere in the middle, those advocating for more student rights have a gang of ammo thanks to the horrible human being known as Bo Ryan (AKA Vigo the Carpathian’s uncle).

Here’s the story: Wisconsin red shirt freshman Jarrod Uthoff informed his coach that he wanted to leave the school. As per a dumb ass NCAA ruling, Ryan then had the right to ban Uthoff from going to certain teams. This is a pretty storied rule that allows coaches to prevent players from going to rival colleges or conference opponents. Bo Ryan, channeling his inner Satan, took things a step further. He decided to ban Uthoff from going to a total of 25 schools including every Big Ten school, the entire ACC (naturally, because they play one ACC team this season), Marquette, Iowa State, Greendale Community College’s basketball team, the Globetrotters and The Fish That Saved Pittsburgh’s squad.

Someone. Anyone. Change this rule.

If Bo Ryan wanted to leave tomorrow and go coach anywhere in the country, he can with no penalty. Hell, if he got caught paying players and Wisconsin was sanctioned for the next three years and had scholarships stripped, Ryan could still go to another school (or professional team) and coach without restriction or penalty. Isn’t that right Pete Carroll?

And to make things worse, apparently Ryan is doing all of this totally out of spite because he’s upset Uthoff is leaving. In case you’re unaware, that officially makes Bo Ryan a bulging d*ckhead. He’s trying to ruin a college kid’s career.

While bad people are around – and the thought of Bo Ryan doing something shameful isn’t necessarily shocking – the deafeningly silent presence in all of this is the NCAA. They’ve yet to address Ryan’s decision or the archaic rule in general. It’s just another example of students being powerless while 50-something millionaires dictate their lives and control destinies.

As for Uthoff? When asked why he felt his former coach went to such lengths, Uthoff responded “You have a better guess than I do.” Hopefully, he’ll land on his feet at some school, and hopefully have a successful college and maybe pro career. In the meantime, I hope he finds himself on a team that kicks the sh*t out of Wisconsin next time they meet up.

Update: Bo just went on Mike and Mike and proceeded to display what can only be described as an epic public collapse under the high gusts of wind his undeniable sh*t storm has created. Here are the Cliff’s Notes:

1. Ryan is only banning the schools so that Uthoff can appeal and be forced to explain his decision because, see, Ryan doesn’t actually want to ban his transfers. He just wants to hear why. *wanking motion*

2. Tons of coaches have done this before. So he’s only doing what other coaches have done. No, there is no worse argument to explain anything ever done. Ever.

3. Mike Greenberg doesn’t understand Bo Ryan’s decision because he never played basketball. And doesn’t enjoy kicking puppies.

4. Coaches can’t leave whenever they want in the middle of a contract. The one trick to that argument is that coaches can leave whenever they want. Including Bo Ryan himself.

5. *Evil cackles* *Incoherent rambling*

That pretty much sums it up. If you listen closely, you can hear every high school basketball player scratching Wisconsin off his list of prospective schools.

Cred: The Big Lead

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