Hey, Jon Gruden, can you tell us about Chris Simms and Bruce Gradkowski?
"They're totally opposite. One is left-handed, one's right-handed. One is 6-foot-5, one is 6 foot. One is handsome, one is ugly."
Somehow the rest of the quote must have been cut off from the news story: "One's missing a spleen, the other guy has his. One has his buddy's initials tattooed on his leg, the other has a firm handshake. One's a beautiful piece of blond man-meat, and the other guy is some Polish dago who hasn't done anything but revitalize the team just as our season was falling apart."
I love it when coaches open up.