I like to keep things short around here, because I know everybody's real busy and has shitty attention spans and — hey! That car has the rims that spin! That's why I don't write long stuff about my NFL viewing experiences or post about my hand-wringing love-hate relationship with the Seahawks. Because nobody wants to read a site that's non-stop excited homerism for one team. Um, right?
But there's just so MUCH to talk about on Monday morning; how can I get it down to only one or two people or teams to pick on? The obvious choice is Big Ben and the Steelers, who lost to the Raiders thanks to a pair of pick-6s from Ogre himself. Indeed, my gleeful schadenfreude is booming over that bed-defecation, but it's a little bit too easy. How about the combined shittiness of Jets-Browns? Too boring. A Romo-sexual joke? Too easy.
A-ha! 49ers at Bears. Wow, what a debacle. I mean, the Bears couldn't put up a single point in the second half. The Niners outscored them 10-0 in the 4th quarter alone. The 49ers! Can you believe that? Way to fall apart at home, Bears. Best team in football, my ass.