Checking in With the ESPN Ombudsman
Joe Girardi Got Fired

Playoff Baseball is Here

By 10.03.06

Three of the four playoff series start today, beginning with the A's tilting at windmills in Minnesota at 1 p.m. Eastern, brought to you by ESPN. The Cardinals and Padres begin their irrelevant series at 4 p.m., then FOX has the Tigers-Yankees opener at 8:00.

A lot of people think the Tigers have no chance, but I'm not so sure. But I only think that way because I hate Joe Torre's nose-picking, Steinbrenner's uninhibited spending, turncoat ex-Mariner A-Rod's delicate ego, Bobby Abreu's scary troll face, Posada's dorky nose and weak chin, ugly-ass turncoat ex-Mariner Randy Johnson, turncoat ex-Mariner Tino Martinez, the endless press given to mildly retarded Johnny Damon, Melky Cabrera's stupid first name, the team's bloated history of success… I could really keep going for a couple pages. Derek Jeter and Mariano Rivera, however,  I actually sort of respect.

Anyway, don't count out Jimmy Leyland. Look at that picture. He looks ready to reach a little further into his pants, pull out his cock, and beat somebody to death with it. I bet that thing weighs a ton and has barbed wire on it.


TOPICS#MLB
TAGSANDY RODDICKDETROIT TIGERS

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