Three of the four playoff series start today, beginning with the A's tilting at windmills in Minnesota at 1 p.m. Eastern, brought to you by ESPN. The Cardinals and Padres begin their irrelevant series at 4 p.m., then FOX has the Tigers-Yankees opener at 8:00.
A lot of people think the Tigers have no chance, but I'm not so sure. But I only think that way because I hate Joe Torre's nose-picking, Steinbrenner's uninhibited spending, turncoat ex-Mariner A-Rod's delicate ego, Bobby Abreu's scary troll face, Posada's dorky nose and weak chin, ugly-ass turncoat ex-Mariner Randy Johnson, turncoat ex-Mariner Tino Martinez, the endless press given to mildly retarded Johnny Damon, Melky Cabrera's stupid first name, the team's bloated history of success… I could really keep going for a couple pages. Derek Jeter and Mariano Rivera, however, I actually sort of respect.
Anyway, don't count out Jimmy Leyland. Look at that picture. He looks ready to reach a little further into his pants, pull out his cock, and beat somebody to death with it. I bet that thing weighs a ton and has barbed wire on it.