Rhyme No More...
Marvin Lewis is a Dick

Shawne Merriman Busted for Steroids

By / 10.23.06

Well, well, well. Lofa Tatupu has just been named last year's "Defensive Rookie of the Year not on Steroids." Shawne Merriman, the Chargers' edge-rushing, game-changing linebacker, has been suspended for four games for steroid use, and he didn't even get the chance to make the "but it was a weight-loss supplement!" excuse favored by other users:

Merriman's positive test was "definitely for steroids … not one of those supplement deals" said a source with knowledge of Merriman's suspension.

In a related story, Merriman was found guilty of wearing a faux-hawk and has been sentenced to live out his suspension in the trendy hipster neighborhood of Williamsburg, Brooklyn, where he can grow to hate the haircut.

While I'm kicking a guy who's down, I should note that his "Lights Out" sack celebration is quite possibly the worst in sports. You're "turning off" your light switch tattoo? Terrifying! Interacting with a two-dimensional image is just sad. And completely unsatisfying. Just ask the Kathy Ireland poster I had in high school.


TAGSNFLSHAWNE MERRIMANsteroids

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