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JOEY PORTER: STILL A DICK

NBA VILLAINS: THE UTAH JAZZ

By / 11.07.06

I apologize to you sexy readers for not delivering daily NBA updates. It's hard for me to work up excitement about the Association on a day-to-day basis. To quote (somewhat out of context) the great Bethlehem Shoals,

As someone who has generally had to make due with network coverage, you forget how many unremarkable nights there are in the NBA, how often two moderately competitive, marignally interesting teams threaten to swallow three hours of your life. It's also made the NBA a given, something I can take for granted…

Until the second half of the season, the NBA is just kind of… there. And I take it for granted. Also, since I don't have any particular team alliance, I tend to just cheer for FreeDarko's "League of Stars" concept. Basically, I'm cheering for the highlight reel. Lame, I know. I learned it from Joe Theisman.

To make amends, I hereby promise to take a shit on the Utah Jazz whenever possible. Why the Jazz? Easy: (1) Karl Malone and John Stockton: Assholes. (2) Utah is lame. (3) I don't care if the team came from New Orleans, "Jazz" is a retarded name for a team in the whitest state in the Union. (4) They've started out 4-0, and I love hating good teams.

The future is now: join in me in a "Utah sucks!" chant.


TOPICS#NBA
TAGSassholesOHIO BOBCATS

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