Pictured here is New England Patriots cheerleader Kristen O'Neil. Why is she pictured? You know, other than the usual horny reasons? Brace yourself: she's dating John Popper of Blues Traveler.
Yes, that sound you just heard was my penis deflating. For those of you readers too young to have experienced the 1990s, John Popper looks like this. Only sweatier. (Okay, so he had gastric bypass surgery and isn't as fat as before. Whatever. The fat man is still inside.) From the Boston Herald (I added a sexy link for you):
Popper, who wrote the band’s hit “Amber Awaits,” for ex-Pats rah-rah gal Amber van Eeghen, is now dating current sideline sweetie Kristen O’Neil. The cheerleaders and Blues Traveler have done three USO trips together to pep up the troops in Iraq and Afghanistan. Head cheerleader Tracy Sormanti said Kristen and John have been dating since they returned from their last mission overseas. "They got to know each other pretty well and after the last tour was over they decided to date,” Sormanti told the Track.
So… yeah. John Popper has nailed multiple Patriots cheerleaders. You: zero. Life is fair.