Ah, college hockey. It happens in northern states, where it's actually en vogue to care about hockey. Thousands of passionate fans in the stands, long-standing rivalries that actually matter, and Minnesota goalie Jeff Frazee is ready to play!
Ooh. Might be time to transfer. Actually, that's kind of a lengthy process. He might need something more immediate, like smashing a hole in the ice and drowning himself in the icy water.
What the fuck do you mean they don't play on a frozen lake? Man, hockey sucks.