PHIL MICKELSON USED TO BE SKINNY
YES, IT'S A HORSE ON WATERSKIS

YOUR NFL PLAYOFF UNDERWEAR

By / 01.19.07

I know I'm not the only one farting up a storm after some wings and a gallon of light beer, so I thought I'd do my patriotic duty and spread the word about Under-Ease underwear in time for the gastronomical fartfest that is the Super Bowl.

“Under-Ease” is a revolutionary new air-tight underwear that contains a charcoal filter, which filters out noxious bodily odors before they can escape into the atmosphere and be blamed on the dog.
[Buck Weimer, the inventor] first dreamed of this concept one evening after a Thanksgiving dinner, when he and his wife, who suffers from an inflammatory bowel syndrome, were lying in bed, and she cut loose with a near-nuclear blast. Lying there, eyes watering, Buck resolved to do something, and, after years of research, he perfected and patented the design for Under-Ease.

"…Lying there, eyes watering, Buck resolved to divorce this foul woman." Hmmm… I wonder if it was a zucchini bread fart.

Personally, I LOVE that a husband designed these for his stank-ass wife. I'm really surprised it wasn't the other way around. Well, I bet women have thought of the idea before, but they probably failed in the invention phase. It's a known fact that women are terrible at science, and are only good for cooking and making babies and complaining about the ropes being too tight. 

(Thanks to Michelle at American Inventor Spot for the heads-up. Michelle, to answer your question: yes, I will model the sac-free underwear for you.) 


TOPICS#NFL
TAGSITS TOTALLY SPORTS-RELATED

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